I wish I could visit every timeline and witness our story in each one. I wish I could see if it is only this universe, our universe, in which we are so screwed up. What would’ve happened if I never felt the magic of your lips against mine, or the warmth of your hand in mine. What would’ve happened if I didn’t have the courage to let all of the butterflies from my stomach fly out of my mouth, if my feelings hadn’t escaped my mouth without permission. In a timeline where I silenced my innermost desires, what would’ve happened to us? Would the crack in our friendship magically repair itself, or disappear like it was never there at all? In that timeline, would my love for you have remained the same, friendly and platonic? Or was it inevitable for my feelings to develop into more? In another timeline, were you the one who craved my company and cherished the moments we spent laughing, holding each other tight? Was I the one who couldn’t fathom this shift in our relationship, the one who was reluctant and unsure? In another universe, did our connection disappear, did it even exist at all? I’d like to think there is a universe in which my heart never felt the ache of losing you, or losing the version of you I made up in my head. A universe where your lies wrapped in a bow of loving words did not echo in my head. A universe where I never yearned to lay on your chest and feel the rhythm of your heartbeat and warmth of our bodies against one another. Is there a universe where I did not feel how your touch ignites me? Is there a way I can go back in time to where it all began and make a different decision? If I got a glimpse of us in every timeline, would it even make a difference? Or is what happened to us inevitable?
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