Our society has been really good at modernizing our tools and technology. We use social media to network, communicate, and share a minuscule and intentional view of our lives. It is not foolish to think that social media, apps to be more specific, could help unite two souls in love. If we can apply the useful of apps to other areas of our lives, why not our dating lives? The concept is simple: create a profile, insert photos and answer prompts that illustrate the version of yourself you want others to see, and hope that someone you swipe on will also swipe on you. The problem? Dating apps were created to connect those with similar relationship wishes and yet dating app culture has shifted to meaningless hookups and cringe-worthy pickup lines. While sometimes that may be exactly what you’re looking for (the casual hookups), there are no good options anyway. All of the people who genuinely want to go on dates usually never go on the apps anyway, and what’s left are slim pickings containing people who go on the apps for fun.
Is Dating Dead?
There are popular dating apps floating around: hinge, bumble, tinder all of which hold different reputations in the dating app world. Each app maintaining a culture of low-stakes sneaky links, none of the wining and dining we see in cinematic classics. Connections are forced, the main objective being physical, rarely emotional. There is no excitement, no butterflies in your stomach and it makes one think, is old-fashioned dating extinct? Have we lost the plot so much so, that we convince ourselves that meaningless and empty physical contact satiates our hidden desires to be loved and cared for? I’ve asked a few people in my circle who have had varying experiences, definitely interesting, all of which detail the spectrum of experiences one can have on these apps. In summary, relationship boundaries become blurred, conversations are not lead with intention, and relationship expectations do not align. One friend shares that despite going on several dates with a guy and moving toward a relationship, he made an attempt to seduce her friend. Another friend told me that the language and pickup lines used by suitors did not align with what she was looking for. The pattern? MISCONCEPTIONS and DISCONNECTION. Dating-app users, although given the option to clarify their relationship goals, tend to be dishonest about what they are searching for. In turn, those intentionally searching for love are met with individuals who are looking for a more casual arrangement. Rarely do you find a whole-hearted individual who isn’t interested in playing mind games, wasting your time, or ghosting you at the first sign of catching feelings.
So, you must be asking, “Mimi, how do we resolve these issues?” The answer is simple: we cannot. Today’s blog post is titled “dating apps, where love goes to die”, and I believe this to be very true. With all of the mixed signals, or rather unclear intentions, it can be difficult to gauge out if someone is seriously looking for a connection. I will admit, there are special circumstances where a match is made, a long term match, but this is not the experience of the majority. The majority says that the options are limited, dates rarely occur, and there is no “getting to know each other.” Additionally, people can be very different from their profile because, again, the profile is a sliver of this person’s entire existence. However, this does not mean there is no hope. As a hopeful romantic, I like to believe that everything happens for a reason, and if you are being drawn to dating apps, your other half may be looking for you on these apps too. Dating apps are not horrible in their entirety, but they cannot offer a consistent success rate of sparking connections. In that case, what’s the point at all if there are no successes? At least not frequent enough to be notable.
Comment below your thoughts on dating apps! Do you agree that they are a waste of time, or do you believe that with some fine tuning they can be transformed into a reliable way to for connections? What other topics would you like to see my cover?
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